Disability Humour 3

I’m not sure why i was thinking about this – i think it was because there was another incident very much like the one i am about to report on. Among my different impairments there resides a flunctuating speech impairment. It’s normally ok. honest. Nothing to question my intelligence about – or so i’d have thought but so many do don’t they.

Anyway i’d been on a direct action with the disabled people’s direct action network which has its own facebook page by the way and was driving home in the company of Andy Gill who stopped at the Archway to get a packet of fags and being a smoker at the time i thought this was an activity i could freely engage in.

Andy got his fags and then i started ordering mine and the stammer came in much to the alarm of the terrified shop assistant. She didn’t know that she could ask me what it was that i wanted and she started palpitating. Completely lost she turned to Andy to find out if i took sugar with my silk cut and Andy just stood there with his arms crossed. Stumm. Saying nothing. Silently insisting if she really wanted to know she could ask me.

Anyway this old guy came in and the shop assistant starting asking him what was it I wanted and of cause he didn’t know. A queue started to develop. From seeds grow acorns, from acorns grow oaks. Or does it? I know nothing about biology. And the shop started to get packed out and people started to get angry. They really weren’t angry with me but they did want to get served and I wasn’t going to let go of my place in the queue until I got served and then it happened. She asked me what I wanted and I told her. We left the shop armed with our stogies and full of laughter.

I review this situation and I think to myself  you ever wanna close a shop…… send your stammerers in first – your most powerful speakers.

Leave a Comment